Its been too long.

It's been far too long since I have made a blog entry. I changed the name of this blog too.  It has changed a bit form what It once was supposed to be. I don't think anyone reads this anymore. That really doesn't matter. It is more for me than anyone else anyway. As I sit here in Barnes and Noble I am sick to my stomach.  My heart hearts right now. Your family can hit you, punch you , put you in jail , or stab you..... None of that ever hurts more than some vibrations of a vocal cord mixed with breath from the lungs going up the throw over the tongue past some teeth and turning into words.

My last entry was November 2011... So let's start from there. The only thing I remember of the last 2 months of 2011 is Christmas time. My Uncle Roger riggs and My Grandpa Charles Jackson was there. My aunt Patty Bruce , Charlotte Jackson and My mom Sharon Johnson and Grandma Marie Pridde were there too. My sister Spring Robinson and her three kids Jayden , Tristen and Deyonte. (she has four now, she has a daughter named Malaysia)My cousins Mitzi Skaggs Her husband Wendall and their kids. My Cousin Josh Jewel with his Wife and their kids. Cousins Tj Linton , Matt Linton , Summer Shelton , Katrina ( Can't remember he last name now) and her Husband Randy with their kid. I drove grandma from her house. It was probably the first ever Christmas gathering with grandma and grandpa and everyone there.  While i was in the bedroom with Wendall playing guitar a fight slash argument happened between my Aunt Patty my Sister and my aunt Charlotte. My Grandpa and mom got involved as well. Because Neither of them know how to shut there mouths nor walk away from anything. They are always int he middle of the commotion and its NEVER their fault. Always someone else. I cam out of the room from hearing what was going on and saw my Sister trying to get out the door with her kids. Both my Mom and my grandpa were trying to stop her from going and trying to get a last hug and kiss from my nephews. (which mom always does when her and my sister argue which is quite frequent and now I know where she gets it from) So i got to the door with Wendell and told grandpa "Just let her go and this will be over this is what always happens" Apparently I pissed him off. He grabbed for me , Over my sister holding a baby I might add, and grabbed my shirt and ripped open the snap buttons. I didn't say a word to him. Wendell grabbed me and told me to calm down. I said " Get your damn hands off of me I am calm" . To make a long story short Grandpa threatened to shoot everyone , mom ended up punching him , he kept trying to provoke me into fighting him ) I told him he was fucking crazy). My Charlotte came between me and him and told him to stop that he was crazy. My mom and My Aunt Charlotte as well as my sister get their retarded ass behavior from My Grandpa. So As well as being black listed from my dads family and being guilty by association I am black listed from my moms side. Except for my grandma my sister her kids and mom.

In March of 2012 I started working at Wendy's as a grill cook. I got the job from a friend's ( at the time)
sister that was a manager there. I worked there from March until December. My plans were initially to move to Chicago and get into music and theater. Nothing really significant happened while working at Wendy's in or 2012 just playing ym guitar and writing until November 2012. Daniella , a girl I had know since 2009 , moved down here from Chicago. We basically started dating the day she got there. Mom and my sister had been arguing the whole year of 2012 . Like they always do off and on. Its just a shitty vicious cycle that I always get dragged into.
December 2012 My mom Daniella and I started moving out of my sister's house and to a Trailer closer to Elizabethtown. Mom didn't tell my sister we were moving out. That started even more shit. But there are entirely too many times my sister got pissed off and told us to move out. When we got into the trailer in Glendale all the bullshit started with my mom. She is the most intolerant person I know. It something isn't her way, some one is different and does thing's different she is an ass about it. She started making comments and being a dick about things. All the way down to the way Daniella washed the dishes and her own clothes. Doing all this asshole shit behind my back and acting like she didn't do anything. From what I remember when I was little all mom did was throw everything colored whites what ever in the washer and just wash it. She didn't shit and put everything together in the dryer to. That,s why I started doing my laundry when I was 13. Daniella got a job from my sister at Subway. My sister went on maternity leave and they ended up pushing Daniella out. Probably because the assistant manager didn't like my sister and my sister and Daniella were friends. I didn't work much between February and April. I hurt my ankle and couldn't work at O' Charleys and ended up not going back. The comments and bullshit form my mom just kept getting worse. I got a new job at Brantley Security at the UPS Hub Airport. My first day was April 6. I went to work that morning and my mom waiting until I left. Started a bunch of shit with Daniella. She talked a bunch of shit on the phone where Daniella could hear it trying to provoke her. It Didn't work so my kept asking her what was wrong and started an argument with her. Daniella Locked the door . Mom called over her bull dyke friend Diane. They kicked in my bedroom door and began to physically remove Daniella from the trailer. They put her stuff in Diane's truck and was going to take her somewhere before I got back from work. I got texts form my mom , my sister and Daniella . Mom's text telling me a bunch of bullshit. I have been places where something happens and saw it with my own eyes and her tell a completely different story of what happened. I got off work and went to the trailer to pack my stuff and leave. Mom kept texting me and bother me. I kept telling her goodbye and to leave me alone. I quit answering her texts . So she came back to the house and started with me there since I ignored her. We argued and got into a scuffle she kept kitting me and jumping on my and I eventually threw her off of my twice. She smacked me and I told her " Stop fucking hitting me, I am not Gary McMillen or Greg Johnson Sr , I won't fucking take it, " She kept threatening to call the cops and put me in jail. She eventually left after starting this whole mess of shit. I packed my stuff and I left. She ended up going to karaoke. The cops ended up there and she went to the station and put an EPO our on me and the police filed Assault 4th charges on me. I ended up getting arrested spending a day in Jail. I am on 2 years probation.  I have to pay court costs , a lawyer , plus go to Anger management and family therapy with her. My sister and her both got in arguments with my grandma after all this happened. The anger management therapist said I don't have an anger problem. He said my problem is my family's destructive behavior.  Its a huge dirty vicious cycle. Yesterday 6/06/2013 my sister picked up my girlfriend form work. It's my nephews birthday. Daniella picked up Jayden a 25 dollar I Tunes card because my sister got him an IPod. Apparently that's not good enough. Daniella said money is a little tight. Which it is. I am living in a Hotel with no Kitchen So I am eating out more than I would like. My sister said if you didn't eat out everyday you wouldn't have money problems. Telling her how Daniella and I should be living and eating. It's no ones  business where I live or what the hell I eat. It pissed my sister off that Daniella told me. Mom asked me to help her move some stuff. She moved to anpartment out of the trailer. I told her not today because I wasn't in a good mood because I was tired of people telling me how to live and where to eat . She told my sister. My sister started a huge argument with me and Daniella. Told me she was going to beat Daniella up and Told me how she really felt about me. That I was a bum. I won't ever amount to shit and I'll be a dirt bag the rest of my life.


I am done.  I'm not doing this shit anymore. I am not being involved in all this garbage that happens all the time.

 I am moving back to Los Angeles when all this therapy shit is over. I was mentally , financially and physically better than I had ever been in my whole life. I am done with this state. I am done with all this crap and family garbage. I have no family. My family is the people i decide to let be around me. I'm done. I'll probably change my damn name too.

I am going to try and do an entry every week or so. I want to keep a record of everything for myself.