Lonely

Some times i feel like a huge loser. I really don't have any friends here. When i don't work i sit in my room watching tv or on my my computer. Sometimes i sit a Starbucks on hollywood blvd. I work at a night club on Hollywood and Highland. It is called the Highlands. I wear a black suit and its pretty sweet. When fights break out we are supposed to intervene and throw them out. There are alot of other dudes there its pretty cool.

I need to start working out again. Im not gonna worry about lifting weights im gonna just do alot of cardio. blah blah blah im depressed...................................

Melrose and Western.

Since my last entry I became friends with a guy named Jared. He is a writer from Wisconsin. Hes a pretty cool guy. I bought an acoustic bass and began playing again. I lived in the crazy house until the end of October. I had to get out of there. There was a nerdy guy named Joel that liked to talk shit. I told him a few choice words. Then i left a week or so later. I live in a basement apartment near melrose and western on melrose. Its my own room atleast. I share the place with an older women , some wierd guy and two gay dues. The gay dudes are an item. September 28 i filmed my first Big tv thing. I was on an experiment of Dr Phil. I played a perp who allegedly broken into a sound stage. With another guy who played a security guard. We walked up to a few chosen people to see who would taze me. It was pretty cool. I got free food and coffee and stuff when i got there. It aired on National tv Oct 25. I'm stilling working at Securitas at Universal Studios. It has slowed down very much. Im not getting many hours. I got a part time job at a Korean night club. I worked one night. It was pretty cool. I got called yesterday by The Highlands Hollywood. Its a nightclub in hollywood. I got hired as bouncer. I get to wear a suit and tie. I am looking forward to it. I miss my dogs alot. I feel like i abandoned them. I hope i can get them moved out here soon. I miss grandma and mom my sister and my nephews.. I really never thought i would say this but i really really. I can not wait to go back and visit E-town. Since being here by myself ive been getting depressed some. I go to movies and do a lot of things by myself. Its been a little hard making friends here. That's my fault thought , I'm now very good at making friends. I don't to the friends I had back home very much. I call and they called and i call and they quit calling. I don't know. I wish i could join a gym. I would feel so much better working out like i used to. I miss working with Chris and Olymco alot. I have alot of really good memory's there. Chris helped me out alot over the years. I will return the favor when i can. After all that's what friends do. The hard part in all of this is finding steady work and not starving. I lived in my car for a week so i could save the money to get into this new room. I just gotta keep on keepin' on.......................

Journal it all.

Well it is 306 am saturday. I am no longer in west Hollywood. I moved from roberts to christines for ten days. then to a hotel for a week crack head hotel ran by an Indian guy. there were bugs int he fucking room. it smelled terrible. i liked being at christines. i was comfortable there. i fucked that up. i got drunk and acted retarded. before that i didint tell her i was leaving and she called when she found out i was gone. on the voicemail she left i could tell she was pretty upset. then august 8th i moved into a house in the valley. Big mistake that was . Little did i know there are 20 people living in this house now. I am sharing a bedroom with 5 other dudes. Chaz a singer/actor. JC a comedian/actor. Mike is a whacked out musician. Ricardo is an illegal alien. Robert and his wife. Some old Argentinean people. Justin and chenoa are junkies. Rick is an old guy who paints numbers on sidewalks in front of houses. Niki is a special effects make up artist. Tamara is a weird Jew lady. Norman never says a fuckin word. hes the wierdest of all. i am moving to north hollywood in sep. im gtonna stay in some ladies living room for 300 bucks a month for a few months. them i am going to move back to west hollywood. fuck the valley.

something i just wrote.

I wake up every morning
2000 miles from home
i keep asking god
what the hell have i done wrong.
i feel I was delt
a pretty lousy hand.
i always feel like
im running down the beach in wet sand.



a women i knew i loved
stomped on my heart
I couldnt handle it
and fell all apart.
i got back up
dusted off my pants.
got my shit together
made my head make perfect sense.


I take the back road
a path not many take.
i always remind myself
everytime i wake.
i do my best work
with my back against the wall.
i bounce back up
everytime i take a fall.
Its a long shot
ill give my sweat and tears
im gonna give it all ive got
gonna squash all those fears.


Ive been greasy the
past six years.
didint try to get out
was held back by my fears.
I was left alone
Thoughts all to myself.
Had time to pull
my dreams off dusty the shelf.
im pretty stubbord
my head is very thick
you can say what you want
to me but i wont give a shit

I take the back road
a path not many take.
i always remind myself
everytime i wake.
i do my best work
with my back against the wall.
i bounce back up
everytime i take a fall.
Its a long shot
ill give my sweat and tears
im gonna give it all ive got
gonna squash all those fears.

I am no longer a bum...............

Well I have now a job. I will officially start is august. I will be turning wrenches again. Not really what i wanted to do but it has paid the bills for the past six years in Kentucky I am sure it will do it for as long as i need it to here. I need to find a a place to live so i can get out of roberts hair. A little bird told me that The Valley (where ever the fuck that is) is a nice place and its cheaper so thats where im headed.

I am really excited about what i am envisioning for my future. Everything that is happening is just baby steps toward my dream. I can't wait to get back into the gym and back into my routine that i have going. I actually miss the gym. I have lost more weight since ive been here. None of my pants fit they are all to big. My belts are all to big. So one of the first things i need to do after i get my first few paychecks is purchase some new clothes. I dont know how many people actually read this thing. Hell i dont know if anyone reads it. I want to continue doing it so i will sorta have something to look back on and read and be like damn i remember that. Hopefully years from now after im nominated for my first Oscar. Ohh yeah i will be nominated its only a matter of time.

Excepting something that happened and getting over it is a very hard thing to do. Alot harder then i thought it would be. I know what mistakes i made the last time and the beautiful thing about mistakes is if you pay enough attention you learn from them and dont do them again. Ohh believe i learned. They wont happen this time!!!!

Ive called myself white trash for a long time know. People get shitty or say i should down myself and stuff or laugh like its all funny and shit. Well i stumbled across this the other day . And im sure this sums it all up!!!


"Being white trash has taught me a lot about being a thankful person. Thankful for food in my belly, whatever it is, for a roof over my head even if it's blue, and for a TV that works (in colour even!). My parents always made sure we were dressed (even if they could never keep shoes on us) healthy, and fed. They always paid their own way, never imposing upon welfare and food stamps because they knew we didn't need it.

My childhood rocked. Being white trash is awesome--it builds character, self-awareness, and a feeling of family unity. You learn not to judge who you are based on what you have (or don't have) but on who you are as an actual person. It teaches you to get by and be glad that you're alive, to never take more than you need and to live within your means, something I've appreciated in my self-sufficient adult years.

If the trade-off to knowing these things and to being an independent, happy person today is being white trash growing up, then, hey, I'm all for it.

I'm white trash and lovin it."

That sums it all up!!

I have been listening to alot of country music lately. There are actually alot of real country artists out right now. Not the pop country Keith Urban shit thats out. Justin moore is one of them. Just a country boy and an acoustic guitar singing about life. Actual rednecks and country boys with nothing but a guitar and a southern twang. I am gonna pick up the six string guitar again. I have been writing a little bit lately i sort of have a reason to. as much as i hate to admit it and for years ive ran from it and hell when i was thirteen i basically got rid of my southern accent that i had. I am part redneck and i know i have a little country boy in me. when someone says lets fight or disrespects my woman i dont say a damn word i just stand up and throw down the fistacuffs ! I love drag racing . I am a hell of a driver i can throw down with the best of them. I miss going through the mud and woods in my blazer. i am a complete gearhead . I dont mind getting dirty and i am one of the hardest working people you will ever meet. hell i even like riding horses. i have excepted it you can take the boy out of the country but you cant take the country out of the boy.

all in all stuff is going well. My patience is paying off a bit. I really like it here. I dont want to leave anytime soon, Except to go home and visit. I miss my friends and family. I havent slept well for the past year really. I know why but im not gonna share it on here sorry. Its frickin day light i should be sleeping,.



Penso che senta a duro e ho colpito la mia testa e si sono fatta ritardato!!

Yes Ma'am im stuck in elevator 2 on the first floor.

I have not written a blog in god know's how long. So here goes. Since we have last spoken i have now relocated to Los Angeles California YAY FOR ME. I have been staying with my korean home slice Mr Asian Mario Lopez Himself ..... Robert Hatfield. on June the second i purchased my grandpas `1998 Ford Crown Victoria. Loaded up what little of my stuff I had left. Said goodbye to my dogs and my family and friends, and headed west, but now without alot of emotions being involved. I hade a 2200 mile trip ahead of me and a hell of a trip it was. I saw alot of native american's some cool desert scenery. I went through Illinous , Missouri , Oklahoma , Texas , New mexico , Arizona and landed in West Hollywood. The last few weeks have been spent mostly job searching. I got my California Guard card. Ive had a couple interviews and put an arseload of applications in. I met a couple really awesome people since I have been here. Ridden and walked all over most of west hollywood. Driven to burbank and Van Nuys. Went to the ghetto once. Helped Robert fix his car. I have taken any classes or been to any auditionms yet. I did submit for some stuff online though. I am getting some professional headshots soon so i can trudge forward. Saw a lot of crazy homeless folks. Some normal homeless folks. and some people that are just crazy. I guess that pretty much somes it up until today.

Today I woke up aroound 9:30 ish? I hopped on my Computer and played on it for a while. I looked for places to get a job. I found a few so i got in my car and drove to wilshire and went inside the building and went up the elevator to suite this security place is in. She proceeded to tell me that " Due to company policy she can not give me an application to fill out because you are wearing a t-shirt". Im like wtf??? So I said thank you and turned around and walked out. That kind of stupid to me but hey I am from Kentucky. I got into the elevator pushed number 1 and it shut the doors and started going down. When it hit the sixth floor it jerked and stopped for about two seconds then kept going, so it landed on number one and as i waited for the doors to open. Nothing happened. So being mister fix it after about five minutes I looked at all the pushign started pushing them all and cursing at it and still....... nothing happened. So I hit the telephone button and it rang to some outside elevator stuck person service and i told her what was going on. She then contacted security and they came on knocked on the door to see about me and i said hey im in here and waited. Then the damn thing went up to the second floor and let me out. Wierd stuff. So i went down down a different elevator. Im no dummy you arent gonna get me stuck twice. And get the hell out of there. The i went to a strip club to put an application in and drove back to the apartment. Crappy day but hey atleast im in L.A.

I am a Brilliant Actor!!

Its been a logn time. i dont know what to write. So i guess i will start with the snow.


It snowed. I am doing an actor showcase st the end of March. I will be performing The Zoo Story. I will be jerry and another Greg will be Peter. I am very excited about it. I will be driving my 94 Camaro Z28 cross country. Ive slimmed down quite a bit. By the end of the month im going to have to buy new belts. My laptop completely died i had to purchase a new one. I like it much better. i dont know what the hell to write it will be better next time i swear!

Music makes the world go round

I am not sure what in the hell i would do without music. I listen to music all the time. Especially at work when I am turning wrenches. When I am working out riding my bike driving what ever .

I should have asked what the difference in the methods of acting exactly are to Kaptain Kathryn (my teacher) . Honestly it never crossed my mind. I was reading a book tonight at Barnes and Noble discussing great acting teachers. It basically told the differences within the main three. I understand it a lot better plus I think Stella Adler fits me much better then Strasberg or Meisner.

Man my dang font keeps changing WTH?

So I am sitting at the mall one day and watching people walk by. why in the hell did they bring the 70's hair and 80's pants back? The hair's not bad. But the pants Are so tight the next generation wont be able to have kids because they are killing their nuts with such tight pants!!!!! I keed i keed.

Im going to see my first Live theatre even on Valentines day I am pretty syked on it. I will be watching The Glass Menagerie by Tennessee Williams.

Its crazy how having a bad or weird child hood effect people so far into their adult hood. I know the way my dad acted and was not around , i have decided that when i do have kids I am gonna be the best damn father on the face of the earth no matter what it takes !!

Ask any of my cousins and they will tell you without a second thought that my family is absolutely effing nuts!!!

Ive got to develop a method or discover one to help me better memorize things. If i do live theatre I am gonna be in trouble if i don't.

I am glad that i kept my over active imagination form my child hood. I still sit and day dream and daze off just like i did when i was in school.

I must sleep weird blog tonight sorry. A lot of stuffing floating around in my dome.

One off the Bucketlist!!!

Well This past Sunday was my birthday.......... Lets just say if i had a bucket list and number Seven on the list was have the crappiest birthday ever!!! I could mark that one off. plus its the first birthday ever that I didint get anything.

For almost ten yea I've been trying to figure out what I want to be or even who I am ......after taking some classes and doing God knows how many different jobs and after becoming a professional automotive Tech. I now know what I want to do or even who I am..... I am an Actor! Acting is what I'm going to do whether it be film television or theater . This is what I am . Its glad to finally be sure of something.

I like to sit and people watch. Its cool how people have these little ticks and stuff they do with out even realizing it. Like how little kids act when they get hyper . They all act different. Like when my grandma wants to know something she wont ask it. She will just be like well Gregory i wonder and kinda dance around it.

This year is off to a crappy start it must get better..........

"Either I act or I die." Al Pacino

Heeeeyyy!! I have been sitting on my butt almost three weeks. It is about to drive me completely crazy. Craziness will only help me come to think of it. I think Sean Connery said it best when he said "As an actor , you need to make a complete ass of yourself". I think that is totally true.

I guess this is a place where I get thing out that have been on my mind. Possibly discuss things that bother me. Like most males of my generation. I have a lot of father baggage. He was never around and told me lies and blah blah blah the normal sorry bastard father stuff. I think that kind of effected me some. In both good and bad ways. That's all I've got to say about that.

I keep talking about this. I know its probably annoying ,but I have this drive that's either puching or pulling me to Los Angeles. I don't know. I have never in my life felt such urge that i needed to do something. Honestly i dont care what I have to do to get there. I will take a bus and live in a hotel if i have to with nothing....

I definitely want to find some cool places to hang out when im cooling my jets. I have a book called "Acting is Everything an Actors Guidebook for a Successful Career in Los Angeles".
It has a list of hangouts , Talent Agencies , things to do , even dentists and doctors. I think I should take some martial arts classes and possibly some yoga so i can do some of my own stunts. I am hoping that since I don't strictly have an acting background it will give me resume a little color. I have had jobs in everything from food service to manufacturing to auto mechanics to building houses. Mostly blue collar jobs. I'm sure with enough research and a lot of stubbornness I will be able to be anything!!!!!

I am about a month behind on my budget. Come hell or high water...... I will be in Los Angeles by spring time. Woohooo

Did you hear that? Duuuude that was my head ahhehehe!!

Hello. After two weeks of not working and lying around sleeping and such...........I don't feel half bad. I have been thinking alot , which i seem to do a lot lately. I have developed a case of tunnel vision.

Ive got wheels again. The white S10 beater to the left!! Low rider mexican style.

I have been trying like hell to get into contact with people who live in Los Angeles. Most Ex celebs and current ones. Most of them kind of blow me off. Which is fine and understandable no hard feelings.


I need to concentrate on finding a place to live and a job now. I wish I had some friends moving with me. I think it would be a little easier. But i might be better off by myself. I have two short films I am auditioning for when he contacts me back. Also one feature length film im auditioning for as well. Im pretty syked on both of them. Not much else to say since ive been sitting on my arse for 2 weeks. I will say one thing though. Im sooo ready to get back to the damn gym!!!

Oh crap im gonna hit a cat swerve SEMI??? FU^%^%^*&^%^%%$###$# i hit a semi!!!

Well Monday night sucked. I rear ended a park semi . I got slammed into the windshield , the steering wheel, and my shoulder tore up the dash. Picture to the left. I feel crappy. I have a concussion and messed up wrist and ankle plus a sore body. I have physical therapy tomorrow and i hope something is found or what ever. Th Hardin memorial hospital is complete garbage. They didn't check anything but my head. Even though i informed them about everything else. The doctor's office is just as crappy they didn't even look at anything.


Why is it that i have female friends that i talk to when they are single. As soon as they start dating or talking to someone they drop off the face of the earth and i never hear from them?? I confuses me. Maybe I'm a douche bag? Nah that cant be it,

I have basically been sitting on my arse for the past week. I will be so siked when i can go back to work and the gym.

Not everyone that hangs out in a bar is a jerk of douche bag. I have met a couple people in a bar that were pretty cool. Probably make good friends. You can never have to many good friends.

I need to either fix my car or truck that I have or buy something else so i can get on my 2200 mile drive to California.

I have been thinking about acting a lot this week. Big surprise huh.!?!?! I want to have a large range. I dont want to be a one dimensional actor. Hell 2 or 3 even. I want to be able to be the nice guy next door. The jealous women beater white trash guy .The serial killerthat dresses up liek a clown . The lunatic homeless guy who talks to floating turds. Even the most spectacular Joker that the Batman has ever matched wits with. I don't know how im gonna be able to do this. Yet. I will figure it out. Mark my words. Its on!!

Son's Of Scottland I am William Wallace. IVE GOT BUSH

How is it hanging? First off Eric is a liar I am real . Atleast i think I am. Well the past five days haven't been to eventful. I attended an introductory Thia Chi Class. (sp?) Class Saturday went great i love going to my class. I actually look forward to it all week. I read my monologue that i had memorized and practicing. I think i can confidently say that i nailed it minus a few accent vowel pronunciation screw up's. I am so siked on acting right now it's not even funny. I will no doubt work my ass off harder for this then i have any other thing in my whole life.

I realized i really really really like the green tea latte from Starbucks. It is Excellent stuff. I am sitting at Barnes and Noble typing this and drinking on right now. I got in contact with a friend who i hadn't hung out with for probably five years. We went to Phoenix Hill last night. I met a few cool people. There was a girl there way to drunk to be there. I know everyone in the bar saw her bush at least seventeen times. I tried to take photo's for you guys with my phone but alas it was to dark. Anyway there is a perfectly good bush in the upper left hand corner. Go ahead look up there.... a little further..... there you go........... BUSH.

I have contacted a guy about a ten minute short film he is shooting. I am hopefully after sitting down with him and auditioning will be playing the role of Jack. He is an editor/ publisher. A clean cut "suit" per say. It's only a ten minute short film but shoooot I am excited about it.


Kathryn (my acting coach) Made a comment Saturday after class. It was nothing but positive but for some reason in my head grasping those words and having them associated with me just kind of messes up my head some. I dunno }=O) I have been watching so many movie's here lately that i cant remember half of the one's i have watched. I have kind of decided that i don't want to do a lot of comedy. I would rather do dramatic or action movie's. I wouldn't be opposed to other thing's. But you know. I think I have came quite far in the past few months with my acting . I feel more confident. I still have aways to go but i am definitely feeling pretty pretty good.

Some soul searching......chinese food.......and film's

Dear Mr Blog.
How the heck are you? When you read this read it as if you were Scottish , because when i typed it i was practicing my Scottish accent. I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. I guess just kind of soul searching of some sorts. I have been watching a lot of movie's big budget low budget indie. I just went to the movie's and saw the new Sherlock Holme's movie. An excellent flick. Robert Downey is a great actor IMO. I cant wait for the last Gerard Butler film to come out on DVD. I have heard nothing but good things about it.

I think i may get a second job at the McDonalds. I'm so excited about moving to the west coast and pursuing something worth a shit to do with my life.

I have been trying to get in contact with Kent Avenido. He is an actor form Elizabethtown and now lives in Los Angeles. Just to be in contact with some one from my nesxt of the woods trying to do the same thing I am. So far i have had no such luck.

My new years was a little boring but i still had fun. I got called an asshole by some random woman.

I have been watching The Godfather Trilogy for liek the one millionth-ed time. I love all three of those movie's. They are great.

I have an idea for a movie. I think it would be pretty funny. I have never saw a movie based in this location about these type of workers or any of the funny stuff that happens and it done. It would be great to see someone do it. Until next time I'm off like a Prom dress!!!!